The Sandwich
by Light My Crazy Diamond
Summary: Super Ness Galaxy #001: The Sandwich. Ness and Cordelia, intergalactic space nomads who travel the universe of Nintendo in the pure name of adventure, find themselves sandwiched between two conflicting modes of desire that put the long-time friends at each other's ends.


Ness hummed a soft tune to the crackling of the campfire, swinging his legs to the rhythm that he improvised on the spot. His heels thudded softly against the log he sat on, while his hands stroked the fur of the purple rat cuddled up on his lap. Rattata, she had explained was her kind after Ness had finally earned her trust, and with the promise of free food once Cordelia came back, she had fallen asleep with an aching but eager belly rumbling softly against Ness's thighs.

And come back Cordelia did, her upper body briefly blocked by assortments of branches and twigs and other forms of combustibles to keep their fire going for the night. With a huge heave of her chest, the purple Yoshi dropped the firewood by the campfire, wiped the top of her head, and let out a "Pheew~!" of a hard work well done. Then she turned to Ness, gave a soft smile, and said, "Hey there, buddy. Sorry to keep you waiting – the nice folks who gave us our dinner had lots to talk about."

And she held up the brown paper bag in her right fist as she promptly sat herself down the other log. From it she took out

 **THE SANDWICH**

or rather, the sandwiches – white bread, green lettuce, some pink gooey jam oozing from their sides.

"No problem!" Ness grinned as he eased up the Rattata's head with his finger. Immediately she woke up and sniffed furiously towards the general direction of the sandwich that Ness was reaching his hand for. "Where'd you get us such scrumptious supper, anyway?"

"Oh, just some old couple living in a house over that hill over there. They… Threw these… _Balls_ at me at first, which was a little weird, but different worlds, different customs, right?" She sat back, threw a twig into the fire, and continued, "I mean, hey, apparently they wanted to capture me and keep me as their pet-slave thing and force me to fight these other pet-slave things! Ha! Can you believe that?

"Anyway, they got awfully nice once they realized that I wasn't one of… _Them_ , and when I explained I was just an intergalactic space traveler, they gave me these sandwiches so that we wouldn't starve during our visit here." Cordelia held the sandwich up to her eye, then opened up the breads to inspect the spread and filling within. "Kinda weird though. I asked them whether they had any meat, and they really seemed to not like that question. Uncomfortable, even. I dropped it when things got too awkward. Maybe meat's just a touchy subject here." She closed her sandwich back and was just about to take a huge bite when she caught sight of Ness. "Oh, no. What do you think you're doing?"

For the single Rattata that had previously found her bed in Ness's lap had multiplied into at least a dozen, and Ness was holding his sandwich at an arm's length above them, calling out, "Whoooooooo's hungry?"

" _You_ are!" Cordelia hissed as she reached forward and slammed Ness's arm back down to his chest. "I got this dinner for you, not for some – wild – untamed – lazy _rats_ who can't hunt their own food!"

There was a loud, squeaky chorus of "Rattata! Rattata!" as every single purple rat turned to glare at Cordelia and bare its sharp front fangs at her.

"Bring it on, you rabid rats!" Cordelia roared as she brought her fists pumping in front of her chest. "I'll punch those teeth in till you choke on them!"

"Cords, Cords, Cords!" Ness spoke up in alarm, jumping up and body-blocking the angry Yoshi from his new ratty friends. "No need to get into a fight! They're just hungry! They were telling me that there's been this drought that's drying up their food supply –"

"Oh, what have I told you about talking to strange animals on unknown planets?" Cordelia interrupted in exasperation as she slapped a hand over her eyes.

"– And who are we to deny such poor unfortunate creatures from a meal that could very well save their lives?" Ness continued, ignoring Cordelia's little diatribe as he held up the sandwich. "This may just be a simple sandwich to you and I, but to them it's the difference between life and death! Can't we just put aside our own hunger for one night to feed these Rattatas?"

"Ra what now?"

"Tata! And that's what I'll be saying to this sandwich!" Ness gleefully held his arms back ready to throw the combination of bread, filling, and spread into the clamoring mouths below. "Come and get it~!"

"Oh no you don't!" Just as the sandwich took its leave from Ness's hands, Cordelia pounced forward and intercepted its path. She landed on her belly, sticking out her hand so that lower bread, pink goo-jam, lettuce, tomato, cheese, and upper bread landed in that order to form back the intricately stacked food. With a huff she got back up, turned to face Ness and the protesting Ratattas, and shouted, "No one here is eating these sandwiches 'cept Ness and I! And if you've got anything against that, then you won't just be missing dinner – you'll _be_ dinner!" And to show that she meant it, too, she unrolled her dripping tongue from her mouth and gave her nose a nice, good lick.

That convinced them. The Rattatas scurried off into the night, quickly becoming swallowed by the darkness, with their startled squeaks of distress being the only beacons of their subsisting existence.

"Cords! Why did you _do_ that?" Ness blurted out after several seconds of silence.

"I'm sorry, Ness!" Cordelia said as she wheeled around, her expression softening instantly. "I know, I know – a single evening without dinner, how bad can that be? But think about it! We're on an unknown planet, with no money in our pockets, no other food to eat right now. Our Launch Star is still on charge and we have no idea how long it'll be before we get out of here. And even then, who's to say we'll land on a planet with some actual sustenance? What if we land in a complete wasteland next?" Cordelia shook her head as she sat Ness back down on the log with a gentle shove to his chest. "You get where I'm coming from here?"

There was a long, drawn-out sigh. "I… I guess."

"Good. Then enjoy your dinner. _Bon appetite_!"

Ness looked down at the bundle of carbohydrates and vitamins in his hands. A light, yet filling meal that could have filled so much more bellies than just his. Well, those bellies were gone now. Ness, quite glumly, lifted the sandwich to his lips, opened his mouth wide, and was just about to bend forward to take a bite when –

"Tata! Rattata!"

The soft, familiar squeak was accompanied by a tug of his shirt, and Ness looked down to see that the first Rattata had yet to take her leave, hidden from Cordelia's sight and looking expectantly at the sandwich.

"Hey –!" Ness started, before quickly shutting up and slapping his hands over his mouth. He cast a nervous look at Cordelia, who, fortunately, had not heard and was still busy stroking the flames. A quick sigh of relief later, Ness, slowly, carefully, lowered the sandwich into the outstretched Rattata's arms, her wide eyes indulging in the shared excitement of a meal well-earned…

Cordelia's pupils darted to Ness. Immediately the sandwich shifted back to Ness's mouth.

"Hmm." A suspicious grunt escaped from Cordelia's throat, and she got back to assembling the firewood into a neat stack.

The sandwich slowly lowered itself to the Rattata's arms for the second time…

The pupils darted back, the sandwich shot up.

The sandwich lowered, the pupils darted back, the sandwich shot up.

Lower, dart, back up, lower, dart, back up, lower dart back up lower dart backup lowerdartbackup lowerdartbackup lowerdartbackuplowerdartbackuplowerdartbackup

"What's the matter? Not a fan of tomatoes?" Cordelia finally asked in exasperation.

"Oh, no no no no no, tomatoes are fine!" Ness blustered. "I was just uh, just uh… Just doing my pre-meal workout!"

"You pre-meal workout?" Cordelia asked, her voice low in dry, sarcastic disbelief as Ness quickly transferred the sandwich to his left arm and began the same procedures of wholemeal bicep curls.

"Of course! Gotta get these muscles up and running for the perfect sandwich dinner!"

"Mmm." Cordelia took one hard look at the wide, cheek-splitting smile before shrugging and taking out her own sandwich from the paper bag. "Well, enough exercise, more meal time. Come on, dig in!"

"Right… Dig in…" Ness repeated slowly, before digging his fingers into the bread and tearing off a chunk of the sandwich. Slowly, discretely, he held it right above the Rattata's waiting mouth. Cordelia was busy licking her nose and cheeks in savory anticipation of the food, her eyes nowhere near trained on the food about to depart from Ness's fingers. The coast clear, Ness slackened his grip and let fall –

 _ZIP!_ The ever-present tongue shot out of Cordelia's mouth, caught the morsel just before it could fall into the Rattata's, and disappeared into the Yoshi's before so much as a pipsqueak could escape from the guilty party.

Ness stared at the slanted eyelids of Cordelia's angry eyes, the gritted teeth gnashing away in frustration, and could only bring his open palms to his shoulders and utter out, "Oops."

Cordelia jumped off her log, tore an equally-sized chunk off of her sandwich, and stuffed it violently into Ness's mouth. Then she glared down at the lone Rattata, who, recognizing the futility of running away, cowered in fear with her arms over her head.

Her rising voice extinguishing all other noises, Cordelia glowered, " _I warned you_ –!"

"Don't hurt her!" Ness shouted, a huge throb of food bulging down his throat as he swallowed. Quickly he lifted the Ratatta with his right hand and shielded her with his left. "Come _on_ , Cords, where _is_ your heart? She hasn't had anything to eat for _days_! We've been well-fed for _weeks_! Can't you just put aside our own wellbeing for once and think about these poor, poor creatures?"

Cordelia closed her eyes, vacuumed in a huge intake of breath through her flaring nostrils, and then opened her eyes again. She looked at the pleading expression of her best friend, at the pathetic one of the trembling rat in Ness's hands, and then back at Ness's again. She let out the gulp of air that had inflated her chest with a long, drawn sigh, and finally, got onto her knees and placed her hand on Ness's shoulder.

"Look," she began, her voice already an octave lower than what it was seconds before, "I know you like animals, even more so than some sentient beings, and I know you'd do everything you can to stop these guys from starving. I know that, and I respect you for that. But can't you see that _I'm_ trying to do everything _I_ can to stop us from starving, too? We're in a brave new world, with no money, no idea of where we are, no charge on our Launch Star – no nothing! I just think it's best we stay on the safe side and keep ourselves well-fed before we feed others! Can't you agree with me on that?"

"I do Cords, I really do!" Ness spoke up earnestly. "I do, but Cords, you just _got_ to _relax_! When was the last time in all our years of travelling through the universe when we actually found ourselves starving to death?"

"Well – I mean, there certainly weren't many, if you put it that way – but –"

"Exactly! There weren't _any_ , none at all. All I'm saying is that for this one night – just this one night – I'd like to go without a meal to feed so many more hungry mouths. I promise you I'll still be right as rain when I wake up in the morning!"

Cordelia looked only once more at the young boy's shining face and sighed. Hard experience had taught her of the infinite reserves of determination that resided in the youth, overpowering even the most stubborn of heads and preventing the boy from ever giving up until he had his way. She shifted her eyes to the hopeless little Rattata awaiting her verdict, and at the dozens of other tiny purple heads anticipating their fates.

"You really want to feed these guys, huh?" Cordelia finally muttered.

Ness nodded his head, and Cordelia let out one final sigh. "Alright, ya overly-altruistic dumb-dumb. But you owe me big time for this." And before Ness could so much as open his yap to question what exactly he owed her, Cordelia thrust her sandwich behind her head and yelled, "Hey, you rotten rodents! It's time for an all-you-can-eat buffet!"

Cordelia's sandwich sailed over Ness's astonished eyes, into the nest of Rattatas a cautious distance away from their camping ground. Immediately there was a flurry of movement and a symphony of squeaks as even the most trusting Rattata jumped off of Ness's hands to join in on the mad scramble for a bite of a wholesome whole meal.

Ness looked down in shock at his own sandwich, still held in his hands, and then back up at Cordelia's face again, which was already starting to crack with the first signs of fresh regret. "But – but Cords! You _love_ food! Didn't you wanna eat?"

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I do love food," Cordelia muttered through slightly gritted teeth, her self-anger grinding her teeth into fine powder. All expressions of anger, however, were immediately eradicated when she sat down next to Ness, the ugly frown turned into a serene smile as she patted Ness's back. "But you know what I love more than just plain simple food?" The rhetorical question was left unanswered by the still-in-shock Ness, and Cordelia squeezed Ness's arm as she answered her own question with the obvious. "You, my best buddy in this whole entire universe. And if my best bud wants to feed some stupid dumb rats –"

"Rat _tatas_ –"

"– then hey, what's a night without a meal for this ol' girl, eh?" Cordelia concluded her noble speech with a gurgly protest, not from her mouth, but her stomach. Both looked down at the rumbling belly, which made its hunger visibly known by creating shaky waves of fat on the ample flesh.

"Well, I don't remember asking you for your input, but thank you Ms. Gurglypants," Cordelia gruffed as she smoothed her belly flat. "But anyway, Ness, you've held off eating your dinner for much too long now. Why not –"

Not another word came out of Cordelia's mouth, however, for in that instant Ness had torn his sandwich into equal portions and had stuffed one half into her trap, straight down her throat.

"Nesssss!" Cordelia protested, bits of lettuce and cheese flying out of her mouth as her cheeks bulged with the sudden amount of food. "Wrrrut rrrrrryuuuuuu dooorrnnnnggg?"

Ness, however, simply _sshh_ ed and brought a finger to Cordelia's stuff mouth. "Look," he began, his voice mimicking the exact same tone and pitch with which Cordelia had earlier lectured him with, "I love animals, and I love helping them out when they need my – our – help. But you know what I love more than helping little animals? You, _my_ best buddy in this whole entire universe. And if my best bud can find it within herself to share a meal while forgoing her own hunger – then hey, what's sharing your own meal with her, eh?"

And with that, Ness held up his half of the sandwich before finally sinking his teeth into the food. They chewed concurrently, the boy and the dinosaur, and for a fraction of a second the latter thought she felt hot, stinging dribbles of acid well up in the back of her eyes – but she squashed the tears with a gulp of her food, and in a low, mocking groan, she uttered, "Ooooh, don't you get all hokey with me. You're gonna make me throw everything back up! You know I can't stand those corny cheesy little cute adorable lovey-dovey things we so often get reminded of on our journeys –"

"Speaking of cute, adorable, and lovey-dovey, I think you have a few new fans who'd like to thank you for your kindness~" Ness teased in a sing-song manner as he dug an elbow into Cordelia's sides –

The army of now-fat Rattatas scurried over to Cordelia and showed their thanks through various cuddles and licks, climbing all over the Yoshi's body as they tried to get as much of their furry bodies in contact with Cordelia's. "G-get off me!" Cordelia snapped, trying to shake three particularly-clingy ones off her arm. "Ah… Ah, stop it! No, that tickles! Stop licking me – ah ha ha – no – just get off – ha ha HA – Ness – get them off me – NEESSSSSS!"

The symphony of two best friends' laughter sang its song through the peace of the night, as we rise above the huggy-wuggy feel-good scene to close our iris over the pale full moon, which, quite phenomenally, is encircled by the curl of the rising smoke and the curve of an oddly-shaped cloud to form a fleeting heart.


End file.
